innocent

2007-10-11T01:18:00.000-07:00

Awww, i haven't posted any entry here for 1 month! I know you guys knows the reason.. :P school shits? yea yea.. But im back now. :) It's our 5 days break from school because of that Eid al fitr occasion.

I hate the feeling when you like something but then you can't have it. I can't determine what's happening to me right now. I don't know if im IN LOVE or what? NO. a big NO NO. infatuated? i HOPE so. But then I'm starting to be confused again. = (

My patience is gone. I mean.. my patience almost fading. I'm happy because through out those years that i've passed by, I'm still here, still fighting. I just don't get it when people seems to change. Actually, people DO change and I've said it so many times! *sigh* I don't know what to do na,. :(

2007-09-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

Sir John's birthday, we surprised him. :D

LXA, re-united? =))

Super stress sa school nowadays. Kanina sa school, I was super sleepy and sakto pa sumakit nanaman likod ko. Gosh, i can't be like this the whole YEAR! di pwede..di pwede! tsk tsk.. I'm starting to be a good girl na and starting to follow everything. At this moment super boring pa sa school kung hindi pa ako manti-trip ng mga kaibigan ko, di pa ako tatawa. Madami akong balak gawin at abutin na goal this 4th year.. at eto ay..

-Tumakbo this election as a secretary for the SSC.
-Try out sa track and field ( kamusta naman toh?)
-Makapasok sa top this first quarter pa lang. -
Mag aral mabuti (of course)
-IPASA ANG UST EXAM at UP na ren kung kakayanin. :)) (yes, you've read it right, mag e-exam ako sa UP.)
-practice my writing and drawing skills (i'm loving drawing na. :] )
- figure out if i have a wonderful voice. =)) i love singing..but singing hates me. ugh.
-no BOYS? haha! let's see. :->
-BALANCE everything in every aspect of my life.
-CONTROL temper and attitude.
finish scrap book for fourth year mem'ries.

Ok, that's some of my goals to reach this year. SOME pa lang yan. Hindi lang gumagana utak ko ngayon kaya lang nalagay ko. I don't know if i can accomplish that all. BUT IM TRYING NA! About the UST and UP exam, Yes, mage-exam ako ng UP.. try lang,may benefit din naman eh. eh ang KASO.. ayaw ni mader. TSK! ewan ko ba, nag away nanaman kami, ang dami ko daw gusto. malakas loob ko? OO, kahit na hindi ako ubod ng GENIUS. Wala namang mawawala eh? Ahmm.. meron cguro,yung pera. Pero diba? madami namang what if's eh! I'll try pa rin. " I do trust in the goodness of the Lord.." God will guide me. If it's for me then it's meant for me. I'm trying everything that i can.. maayos ko lang studies ko. Kung alam niyo lang kung gaano ako ka-desperado na makamit yung medalyang yun sa graduation. Ayaw ko mapahiya sila mami eh. :( Kahit ngayon lang, pagbubutihan ko. I can imagine how much effort they're giving to us, mapag aral lang kami. Too bad, ngayong ko lang lubusan na-realize yun. But then, hindi pa naman huli ang lahat eh. :) I still hope na maabot ko yun. Sa akin din naman naka-salalay yun eh. Just to make them proud of me.

Everyone's asking kung bakit daw kami nag break agad.. OO, hanggang ngayon, marami pa ring.. "bakit? ..oh? kelan pa?" heck with that! Kahit sino naman siguro.. walang makaka-intindi sa rason ko eh. Oh well.. why would i please people to understand me if they can't? I'm just wasting my time and effort. *sigh* I'll just pray for the right one, for that right guy. Who knows? baka kami pa rin sa huli. I'm not closing my doors naman eh. Laylo muna ako ngayon.. But despite all those fact.. I still miss him. Miss those good times we've spent together.. but it's not the same na eh. Dami na nagbago.. Siguro kasama na rin ako dun sa mga nagbago. Sana lang maging good friends kami. :)

My back's hurting again.. so out muna ako sa blogger! very long update. ;)

2007-09-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

Oh, how i miss blogger! hahaha! No post recently because i was super tamad to do so. So i'll update na..

It's the first day of class today and it was so draining. =)) damn shit talga pag senior, as if naranasan ko na maging senior eh noh? haha! but seriously, feeling ko i will suffer in this shit school year. Biruin nio, 1st day? tinadtad kami ng MATH. :)) kaya parang hilo hilo ako sa classroom kanina at idagdag nio pa yung fact na NAPAKAINIT sa classroom. :)) potek, pag ganun kasi naaapektuhan ang aking brain. :)) oh well, 1 section na kami.. sama sama na lahat. haha! at.. mag stastart na UPCAT namin. huhuhuh.. wish me luck sa USTE. haha! taeng yan, ni hindi ko pa alam kung ano talaga course kukunin ko, eh civil engineering puro math! kamusta naman yon? pano pag hindi pa ako nakapasa sa USTE, edi exam din sa CEU para sa medical field na course ko,.:)) kamusta naman talaga! how i wish noh, tapos may balak pa ako mag try out sa track and field for varsity? yan ang kamusta talaga! di ko alam kung tutuloy ko pa. HAHA.. grade din yun. :->

Anyway, aside from the fact na unti unti na akong nastre-stress, ehh feeling ko.. madaming galit sakin. Well, kasi.. me and my recent boyfriend just broke up. I decided to make that decision. I know some people don't understand kung bakit ko ginawa yun, baka nga pati siya hindi naintindihan kung bakit eh. Mabilis kumalat ang chismis, malamang. Mahirap sa part ko din kasi masakit isipin na may mga nagagalit or nagja-judge sakin agad kung bakit ko ginawa yun. I don't care naman e,.. well, maybe somehow oo. Kasi lagi ko naman sinasabi sa sarili ko na hindi naman nila alam ang totoo eh. Eh kung maramdaman nila maramdaman ko?ano? ha? hahaha. But pinipilit ko na lang hindi pansinin. I'm happy with those people i have in my life now. Masaya in the sense na thankful kasi they're giving me strength. Siguro ngayon.. focus muna ako sa mga gusto kong ma-achieve in my last year as a high school student. Honestly, i'm so weak this past few days na parang feeling ko hindi ko na kakayanin mga susunod pang mangyayari. Basta i'm getting scared but still i'm trying to be strong pa rin. Whatever the wrong things that i made in the past or kung mali man yun.. pinagsisisihan ko naman eh. I also don't like hurting people. Nagiging demonyita lang ako kapag mainit ulo ko at nadadala naman ako. But yeah, i'll try to change. I'm asking God for guidance and help na sana.. at this point din, mawala yung pain, fear, worries at kung ano pang negative na nararamdaman ko ngayon. :) I know hindi pa siya totally recovered dun sa break-up, but i feel so sorry dun sa mga nagawa ko sa past. Aminado naman ako dun ehh.. Sana dumating yung time na maging totally okay na. =)

ayun, very long update. HAHA! i'll take a nap na. Super sama na ng pakiramdam ko. Tag, tag naman kayo dian mga co-bloggers! hahaha! God bless guys! :*

2007-08-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

Today's Advice:
Have no fear of tomorrow.

I'm super stressed last night. Sobrang unusual nung mga nangyayari.. =( sakit sa dibdib. parang na-traumatize ako. God knows kung bakit ko ginawa yun at kung ano nararamdaman ko ngayon. :(

super sad ako for some reasons. :(

2007-08-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

Today's advice:
Live, laugh & love your whole life long.

Haven't blog for this past few days since there was no internet here sa house, nasira kasi eh. Hm, nice advice noh? HAHA! Live, laugh & love, right. I'm not in my blogging mood pero sige.. i want my site to be active eh.

I badly want this EOS 400D canon na camera. :( huhuhuuh! Super natutuwa ako mag take ng mga pictures ngayon, AS IN. Naisip ko nga na kumuha na lang ng photography in college but then ayaw nila mommy. X( sad sad. but i PROMISE talaga na before i leave AUH.. I'll have that cam. ;) haha! i badly want that cam! ='( it's worth 3,000+ dito.. hmm, siguro sa pinas, mga 30k or 35k. PRAY for me na sana makuha ko yan cam na yan. haha!

Ok, enough with my wishes. I'm f*ckin' sleepy right now! haha! but then feel ko pa rin mag blog eh. HAHA, hindi naman ako weird? parang kakasabi ko lang na ayaw ko mag blog? haha! Anyway, I'm super tired this day.. We went to emirates palace hotel, one of the biggest hotel in UAE. I think? haha! basta super BIG. sakit sa paa maglakad.. medyo nakakatakot yung place kasi super duper tahimik. haha! AS IN! nakakabingi yung tahimik, wala man lang music sa mga hallway or sa mga banyo, nakaka-lula sia infairness .. pero super pretty ng place. And then went to marina mall to buy school stuffs. Bumili nanaman ako ng school shoes. =)) pangalawang school shoes ko na toh. haha! pati bag. :) Feeling ko babagsak na mata ko. =( haha! pasaway eh.

Christmas party '06.

It's 24 today and it's our 7th monthsary. Happy monthsary bie! :D haha. Muntik na tayo maghiwalay noh? haha, BAD BOY eh. ampfff.. Anyway, sana magtagal pa tayo mister soriano! wag ka na pasaway.. hehe. You want my TRUST diba? well, pakatino ka. haha! Gumawa ka ng kalokohan na di ko alam dian? subukan mo lang. hehe, konsensya mo na rin naman yun eh., =P uyy,takot siya. =)) HAHA! totoo naman eh. It's your lost, anyway. =P mwahahaha! =)) Just be a good boy (parang nanay noh? :]]] ) . i love you bie. Always pray to GOD, ha? everynight. mwah!

Feeling ko hindi ko na feel layout ko. =)) Watcha think guys? comment naman dian kung papalitan ko. =) wihee.. para na akong lasing. out na ako.. God bless to all! :* mwah!

2007-08-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Today's Advice:
God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.
Ps 147:3

Ok, starting from now nag to-today's advice na ulet ako. :) It looks like this.. You'll close your eyes then you must start rolling your finger or just simply land your finger on that poster and see what's your today's advice. Sa school kasi may ganyan kami ehh.. kaya nasanay na ako. Then nakita kong may ganyan friend ko from philippines..ayun, inarbor ko. haha! tuwang-tuwa na ako. =P Hmm.. about my advice for today. Am I broken hearted? Not really. Just sad.. haha! but hey.. despite that feeling, I feel blessed this day. :) Really, super daming blessings. Last night before going to sleep I prayed to God.. the usual thing, yung thanking him for every days blessings and graces.. before I ended my prayer I prayed to him na sana bilhan ako ni mommy nung super pretty na swimsuit na gusto ko. Guess what? Kanina, after going to church nagpunta kaming mall.. Binilhan na ako. hahaha! Super unexpected. Mahal pa naman nun! :P hindi naman ako usually pala-bili ng ganun, super na-gandahan lang ako. haha! then yun.. super saya ko na. haha! And mommy bought me na this SONY na earphone kasi nga I was so stupid to left my earphone sa mall. :( Hindi naman kasi siya ordinary na earphone. Eh ayun.. mas mahal yung bili ko ngayon.. cguro, 800 pesos sa pinas. HAHA! mahal na yun ahh! para lang sa earphone. =P Wala lang, super blessed. :D Thank God. Hmm, nothing much happened today. Ayyy? meron pa pala.. pero, i don't want to talk about it na lang. hihi, Ciao dear bloggers. =P God bless!

2007-08-13T04:55:00.000-07:00

Hindi ako nakapag blog kahapon kasi wala din ako sa bahay buong maghapon. We went to Marina and ate at Fuddruckers. See? petixs lang kami ngayon. HAHA! Mga bummer sa house. =P

Currently listening to: I'm yours - Jason Mraz

Hihi, feeling in-love ako nowadays lalo na pag nakakarinig ako ng mga trip kong kanta. Isa na yan ohh.. :) But yeah, I'm in love with everything. And that's a GOOD NEWS. haha! Wala masyadong worries, no pain (emotional pain). Sana wala ng tears pero hinde naman pwede. =| Basta.. alam ko na MASAYA ako ngayon with everything. Ayaw ko muna na masyadong maluho. WHAT?! haha! sinabi ko yun.. Yeah, tama na muna with material things. SANA.. kayanin ko! =P

How's our world doin'? getting worse? or what? tsk tsk.. Yeah, our world is getting worse than ever! What more when the next generation comes? Do they still have a better world to live in? This generation is getting wild and worse. I don't want the time to come that we will be all afraid to live in this earthly world because of things getting worse. I think.. No one wishes that would happen. Who would,right? Imagine all those people who is so selfish that they only think of themselves? or i must say, they're satisfaction? Yeah.. they do wrong things just for their sake. No,wait.. SOME do it just for their sake.. SOME do it for their love ones. But it's still wrong. It's so sad to think about those things. Really.. When will all the people be united as one? Just because of selfishness, insecurity, satisfaction, wealth and other negative reasongs..We do wrong things. So sad. Reality hurts so many people. =(

Let's just pray for the world,

2007-08-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

Q: What is your salad dressing of
choice?
A: hmm..any will do. :)

Q: What is your favorite fast food
restaurant?
A: hardees!

Q: What is your favorite sit-down
restaurant?
A: any.

Q: On average, what size tip do you
leave at a restaurant?
A: 5 dhs.

Q: What food could you eat every day
for
two weeks and not get sick of it?
A: ano ba? hmmm.. sinigang! i think? haha!

Q: What are your pizza toppings of
choice?
A: barbecue chicken,salami, olives, cheese. :)

Q: What do you like to put on your
toast?
A.: butter.

TECHNOLOGY

Q: What is your wallpaper on your
computer?
A: edited twenty four thingy. :)

Q: How many televisions are in your
house?
A: two.

BIOLOGY

Q: Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A: righty!

Q: Have you ever had anything removed
from your body?
A: hair. :))

Q: What is the last heavy item you
lifted?
A: bag.

Q: Have you ever been knocked
unconscious?
A: nope. Thank God.

BULLCRAPOLOGY

Q: If it were possible, would you want
to know the day you were going to die?
A: No.

Q: If you could change your name, what
would you change it to?
A: Princess!

Q: What color do you think looks best
on
you?
A: white. pink. ;))

Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food
item by mistake?
A: ahh yea? shampoo! :))

Q: Have you ever saved someones life?
A: emotionally, yes.

Q: Has someone ever saved yours?
A: yup, God did. :)

DAREOLOGY

Q: Would you kiss a member of the same
sex for $100?
A: kiss? what kind kiss? haha. $100? naah, cheap! haha!

Q: Would you allow one of your little
fingers to be cut off for $200,000
A: NO!

Q: Would you never blog again for
$50,000?
A: yea. :P

Q: Would you pose naked in a magazine
for $250,000?
A: you wish! :P

Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of
hot sauce for $1000?
A: NAH!

Q: Would you, without fear of
punishment, take a human's life for
$1,000,000?
A: NO, .

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: nothing.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good
movie?
A: Hmm, haven't watched it yet.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in
your house?
A: yea.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: stand

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you
own?
A: dont know..dont count.

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the
cops?
A: None.

Q: What do you want to be when you
grow up?
A: Successful business woman.

Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8?
A: top 8?

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A: kevin.

Q: Last person who called you?
A: tito warren.

Q: Person you hugged?
A: baby alec.

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 7 & 37! and yea.. 24! :)

Q: Season?
A: summer.

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: my barkada, man! and alex! :)

Q: Mood?
A: sleepy.

Q: Listening to?
A: TV.

Q: Watching?
A: nothing.

Q: Worrying about?
A: kuya's comeback.

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: bathroom.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: study? ASA! :))

Q: Do you smile often?
A: not that much. hehe..

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: yea. :)

haha, just to ease my boredom.
petixs muna habang bakasyon pa. =P @ al raha mall na super layo. haha!

Oh well, How's my day? it was good. I'm not in the house the whole day. First, we (mom,yaya & sister) went to Al wahda mall. Wala lang..stroll stroll lang. Nothing special.. Then tito warren picked us up and headed to another mall named Al raha mall na super layo nga! haha! hmm..there.

And nga pala.. ayus na kami. :D hihi.. I ended up the cool off thingy na. HAHA! One day cool off? ayos eh noh? hihi.. That's what LOVE can do. Di ko natiis ehh.. =P YEY! so everything's back to normal.. And i'm just hoping na everything will be fine. :) i love you my man! :D a lot. hihi..

Well, it's gettin' late na here. Actually, it's late na, maaga lang toh para sakin. HAHA! 12:33 am to be exact. :) Super soundtrip lang ako this night. hihi.. I'm happy 'coz every thing's doin great. =) Thank God.

Lord, you're more than enough for me.
-One day,hillsong

2007-08-10T10:40:00.000-07:00

incess/jenny/leslie

i miss my girls a LOT! xD

aww.. love my twin! :D

PHR again, with lindsay baby. SAYANG! i have a pic pa naman with my baby allan. :( kaso nasa memory card ni jeneh ehh. :( HUHU! DARN IT! i just miss those days na ganyan kami ohhh. HAY!

I went out with my barkada and celebrated the birthday of my twin sister (leslie). HECK! it was hella fun! haha! Super laughtrip! :D kaka-miss,sobra. AS IN! Yung tipong tatawa ka na halos umiyak ka na at halos sumakit na ng todo tiyan mo? damn, super na-miss ko toohh! yun nga lang we're not complete. =( And yea, we watched at the cinema.. The movie 1408. AMPF! mga scaredy cat kami! :)) actually, ako..HAHA! pero super saya. I'm really happy with the company of my ever dearest and loving friends (naxs! haha!). Sana ganito na lang.. na-miss ko toh ehh. Yung tawa ka lang ng tawa, walang problema, no tears! no depression! YUN GUSTO KO! =| ayaw ko nakakaramdam ng emotional pain! super badtrip. dun lumalabas pagkama-PRIDE ko. *sigh* I want this friendship to last. They're one of my strengths,grabe. Super thankful na i have them.

Hmm,'bout my love life. haha.. Super confused na ewan. I don't know if it's right that I decided to cool off our relationship. MAHIRAP DIN SA PART KO! Somehow, i miss him and i still care..and yea.. I can feel pain. But what the heck?! sawa na ako ehh! Hindi ko na alam kung kaya ko pang ituloy. SUPER KA-ABNORMALAN lang toh. I want to cry, pero ayoko. Ayoko maramdaman talaga yung sakit. I need to be strong. Gumawa ako ng desisyon na ganun.. PANGANGATAWANAN KO. I need time.. to think, kung ano ba talaga. *sigh* Hirap eh. Nadadala na ako ng sitwasyon na magkalayo kami. Naaapektuhan na ako. HINDI BA HALATA?! dahil sa lintek na LDR na toh! huhuhuh! God, help me. :( help me know what's the right thing to do. Guide me in whatever decisions I'll make. =( I know that you know HOW i and WHAT i REALLY feel. please.. Haay, I hate emotional breakdown. Depression on the house. =( NALULUNGKOT din naman ako! pero hindi ko talaga alam. BALIW NA AKO! X|

And yea, family problem. SUPER NAAAPEKTUHAN din naman ako! tahimik lang ako..pero apektado ako! TAE! huhuhu. =( hindi ba pwedeng maging masaya na lang? ALAM NIYO YON? nasasaktan nanaman ako sa lahat ng nangyayari ehh. Hindi naman ako bato! Lalong hindi ako manhid.. SANA! ayaw ko na lang sabihin dito.. personal na yun eh. SANA MAGING OK NA NAMAN LAHAT OH! sana lang.. kung pwede lang na ganun kadali gawin yun. :-< God,help me..PLEASE. =( help me overcome this sadness and pain that I'm feeling right now. Super hard na ehh. :( I love you.

Well, that's it for day.. mixed emotions pa eh. Wish me luck sa lahat! :) ciao.. blog tomorrow. =) Love you dear bloggers. HAHA! God bless sa lahat! :)

2007-08-09T04:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, second day of my blog. I was bored this afternoon so i decided editing some pictures and came up with that one. I'm totally irritated this days.. Super confused again. I think our vacation will be extended for some reasons.. darn it! Well, i'll be a bummer again. DAMN sh*t tlga! hmpfff..

Super true? yea? haha.. wala lang. Lakas lang ng tama sakin.. I'm the type of person kasi na.. I take things seriously. I keep on focusing in one problem and not trying to move on. Ganun ako eh, but i know it's wrong. I'm so fragile when i'm hurt.. I don't let people know that I'm in pain. i just don't want them to know how weak I am. I uplift to God all my problems when im in pain. And it's nice because the more that I'm hurt.. The more i become closer to him. :)

Now, Many things are running in my mind. There's a part of me na nalulungkot kasi this will be the last year for me to stay in this place. This place where i grew up, where i met my TRUE FRIENDS, where I started to do such vices (I stopped na.).. Why did I stop in such things? It's because of GOD. I changed a lot when i became more closer to him. But I also can't deny the fact that sometimes i make mistakes. Well, people do made mistakes. And I was saying a while ago.. this place means a lot to me. I spent my teenage years in this country. In 3 weeks time, I'll be back to school as a Senior student. Time do fly fast. I was just grade 3 back then.. Wishing na sana highschool na ako, graduate na ako..and everything. But hey! what now? I'll be graduating in my last year of highschool. I'll be facing a new world after how many months. I'm thankful to God that i overcome all the pain that i used to feel before. It's hard. :( Lalo na sa isang katulad ko. Coz' nobody knows how fragile I am when I'm in pain. Only God knows how.

Haay, super sad. I wish everything will be fine. Well, I'll blog tomorrow! :) Ciao.

stupid.

2007-08-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

HAHA. My NEW blog,again. I'm so stupid kasi ehh! I forgot the password of my previous account.. so yea. :( huhu. Ilang years na sakin yun. =( damn! feeling ko may nag iba ng pass. Http://pare-ni-jayson.blogspot is inactive na (tagal na). Kaya laging walang update kasi nga nakalimutan ko pass. =( STUPIDITY. Please re-link me dun sa mga nag link sakin. =( Thanks. Sad pa ren.